17

i've got a lot to get off my chest cause if i don't i'm not going to be able to breath.

so let's discuss highschool

it's low key crushes. tardy slips. the best moments, and the worst. it's "i was so sure of you" it's disappointment.

and if i've learned anything important from my 17 years of living and high school it's...

always discuss your problems with god first

& some names will always taste bitter

if you enjoyed it, it wasn't a waste of time.

i've learned to look past peoples flaws.

and always let people wonder.

i've learned to stop trying to repaint people after they have shown their true colors.

i've come to know no one is ever too busy, it's all about priorities.

also just be bold.

and lastly i've learned, don't let the heart that didn't love you keep you from the one that will.

i wish i could go back in time, not to change things but just to feel moments again

so i hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive. and i hope you remember how it felt

 

i remember but i want to forget

i remember it was a b day
mr. ross was my teacher
and i don't even remember the subject

all i remember was the text

the text from dad

2 words that hit my heart like a bullet

grandpa died.

i don't remember how i got to the hospital

but i do remember entering the room

light blue walls

white tiles with tear drops

shattered hearts.

i remember thinking maybe it won't hurt with my eyes shut..

so i shut them

but it didn't help, it definitely hurt.

i squinted my eyes together harder and harder hoping it was a dream.

we all sat in silence. 

and i came to the realisation that all i have left are the memories and the lessons

he told me to always go for it. whether it ends good or bad, it was an experience.

i remember his stories about harvard

he told me to soak in moments. turn them into movies, into stills. don't ever forget the seconds that make life soft and beautiful. collect them.

i wish i could remember everything from him.
but time makes things fade

and i miss him everyday