shower thoughts

at times i am a mystery unto myself.
i sit as the darkness of night slowly covers the sky and question honestly who am i?
i ruin my life by desensitizing myself.
i get afraid to feel deeply.
or to say too much.
or to say how i really feel.
its hard to say what i really feel when i don't even know what i am feeling.
i believe that my soul is from elsewhere, and i intend to end there. my soul is a mystery.

nights are my thing.
at night is when i usually come closest to solving the mystery of my self.
i often think that the night is more alive & richly colored than the day.
everything looks perfect at night.
that must be why i love it so much because my soul feels perfect under the pictorial black and blue.
at night everything is more intense, more true.
moonbeams and starlight casts a soft luminous glow warming my soul.
making me feel more whole, and discovering my true self.

i hope to one day solve this mystery of myself