so hello

i am obsessed with the sky
which is why my pen name is a constellation

i am mostly afraid of going through life misunderstood

i get too caught up on the things that don't matter

and i've learned it takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

and thanks to nelson and monocerous for helping me accomplish that.

i have come to love the fool inside of me,

the one who:

feels too much
talks too much
takes too many chances
wins sometimes and loses often
loves and hates
hurts and gets hurt
laughs and cries

i try to be happy so that when others look at me they become happy too.
cause i am not mona lisa.
i wont depend on anyone to draw a smile on my face. i control my own brush and i'll paint my own reality

I am Sarah Barry

mixed lyrics and emotions

a combination of lyrics from

the 1975 - Fallingforyou
Mumford & Sons - after the storm
Lana del rey - Dark paradise

and now i cling to what i knew
i saw exactly what was true
all my friends tell me i should move on
that's why i hold.
no one compares to you
i think im falling, i'm falling for you.
i read between the lines
and i look up, i look up
on my knees and out of luck.
don't you see me?
i'll never make it right.
i'm caught on your coat again
and we stood tall,
and remembered our own land, and what we lived for
and i took you by the hand,
i'll take you one day at a time
don't you see me now?
you said some day we might when i'm closer to your height.
that's why i hold.
you're all i need
i think i'm falling, i'm falling for you
soon you will be mine,
maybe you'll change your mind
and love will not break your heart.
no one compares to you.
we started losing light
if you don't want me around.
i run and run as the rains come.
night has always pushed up day
i'm so excited for the night.
the feeling of your arms
and on this night and in this light
when the smoke is in your eyes, you look so alive.
i don't want to wake up from this tonight
That's why i hold with all i have.
i think i'm falling, i'm falling for you
i think i'm falling, i think i'm falling
you're all i need
i don't wanna be your friend
well i guess i'll just go home.

i wonder where broken hearts go

maybe we die twice in this life.
1. when your own heart stops beating
2. when their heart starts beating for someone else

a womens heartbeat is faster than a mans by almost 8 beats a minute
which makes sense cause every time i see you
my chest bumps like a dryer with shoes in it cause it's beating so fast

       even though i don't want it to

even though regular exercise is best for the heart i hate running.

and maybe it's meant to be that the heart is the size of two hands clasped together....

      I don't know

maybe i'm killing my heart by overthinking

i feel like the beat of my heart is morse code but i just can't follow what it's saying when my heart is slowly turning into a million pieces.

thankfully i'm not broken. just cracked and a little bent.

we were born to die

lets talk about the universe

lets talk about coincidences

lets talk about the courage of the stars. how light carries on endlessly, even after death.

lets talk about infinite...

look at the sky. we are not alone.
and if you are ever feeling lonely just look at the moon. cause someone somewhere is looking at it too. and it's probably me.

isn't it interesting how this universe has no beginning and no end? literally no end. we never end.
what are we going to do forever?

who are we? compared to this big universe.

how many more galaxies are there? there are probably more galaxies than there are people.

honestly it has felt like the universe has dealt me some good cards when i met you. and that my friend was a very nice change.

who has the answer to all my questions.
god created adam and eve but who created god
what does it look like past the veil
how big is the universe

so just take me to the finish line, but i'm hoping at the gates they will tell me that i'm fine
fine from
the times i lied
when i cheated
the days i didn't pray
falling hard into pier pressure

i hope at the end i will learn that it didn't matter that i loved you and you loved her, even though i saw galaxies in your eyes.

so choose your last words cause soon it could be the last time
and we were born to die.






 

how to avoid the match burn

we were kinda like matches..

& even though mom says don't play with fire, it will hurt.
i couldn't help it.

you kept showing sparks of interest & i loved the way the sparks looked. so bright so exciting.

flicker by flicker we became a flame

playing with fire is like flirting with disaster

& i kept playing with the fire. 
it was fun
it was different

you know when you swipe your finger through the fire really quick, then time after time you feel invincible, so you go slower through the fire then suddenly

you get burned. and it hurts. & your confused cause it was fine just a second ago... yeah i can relate.

burn. burn. burn.

before i knew it our fire was burned out. with a trail of smoke reminding me of our memories.
slowly fading
i can hardly remember.
all i have left is the burn on my finger to remind me of what we almost had.

and oh how i thought we were a perfect match, but darling matches burn.

& maybe after enough awkward and silent moments i'll learn that we're going to be better strangers than anything else.

to avoid the burn, trust the vibes, energy never lies. and know that oh does fire burn.